I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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