is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
