do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
