C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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