wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
