Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
this is an emotional support booty call
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
