you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
