YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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