You can't motorboat a personality
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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