Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.