I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.