Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
