so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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