this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Randomize
