She's JV to your varsity
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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