I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize