Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize