the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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