brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
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