My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
