guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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