just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
