trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
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First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
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We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
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