Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
of course. lets lasso hookers.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
