I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
