We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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