I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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