My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
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What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
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She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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