They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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