batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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