That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
