we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
