Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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