I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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