idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
