youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
