Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
