Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
