At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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