dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
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