After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
