question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
