my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
