so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
