Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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