imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
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rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
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Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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