Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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