her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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