it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
