Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
