My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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