It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
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