He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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