this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
