Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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