I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
