If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
