i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
