i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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