Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
