It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
