There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
