kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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