if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
