That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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