I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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