He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
