The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
